well - I'm abandoning this page for another...

It's interesting Tim, to read your post from last week - I've obviously hit that same point. So, I'm scrapping the old ways of this one for my new and improved one. I'm sure it probably doesn't make sense - but I'd rather start over somewhere else than start over here.

For what it's worth, I've added you [Tim] to my reader - you should feel privileged!

for anyone else, you can find me at: http://lionrebel.wordpress.com/

From the fifth chapter of Hebrews:

"But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."

Prior to this sentence, the author is venting his frustration because his audience has not grown as they should have; instead they rely on "milk," or the elementary things of Christ, for their sustenance. He says they are not acquainted with the teaching of righteousness. Or the ability to distinguish between good from evil.

I am quite certain I know the difference between good and evil - and yet I participate in evil things. Does that mean that I've sold my soul to the devil or that I don't actually know the difference between good and evil? Evil is such an evil sounding word - but the truth is that everything not related to God is evil. But know that what is evil is wrong - and yet I still allow it to be a part of my life. Apparently I'm not acquainted with the teaching of righteousness - which would be an integral part in knowing God. God is righteous and good in all he does. Apparently learning about righteousness is the next step!

1 Corinthians 6:

The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters. Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolators nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.



There’s a whole point that Paul is making that I’m not even going to talk about - our justice comes from God, not ourselves. But, because I’m pursuing this idea of knowing God more, I’m going to start with the statement he makes: “Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God?”

Eugene Peterson states it like this, “Unjust people who don’t care about God will not be joining in his kingdom.” A lack of knowledge about God tells people something about you: God’s not that important. But it’s a strange thing - because mostly we want to know God, we want to know him better and live more fully for him. And that is why Paul says this directly after his prior statement: Do not be deceived!

The lie is that there is grace. And it is not that there is not grace, because there is - but look at the list of things that Paul uses to describe those who do not care about God:

1. sexually immoral [porn, masturbation]
2. idolaters [giving anything more worth than God - sports, love, self]
3. adulterers [sex outside of marriage]
4. male prostitutes [this one is pretty specific already!]
5. practicing homosexuals [as is this one...]
6. thieves
7. the greedy [wanting what someone else has, wanting more and more]
8. drunkards
9. slanders [talking bad about someone, destroying their reputation]
10. swindlers [manipulators]

As I look at that list, I’m disheartened - because I have participated in nearly all 10 of those things. Fortunately though, the majority of those things I only “have participated in” and am not still participating. That is what grace is - grace covers the things we’ve done wrong and turned away from. But the lie that is in operation is that God’s grace covers those things that you do that you don’t turn away from! This is a hard line stance, an incredibly difficult thing to say - only because I know the difficulty in giving up my idolatrous ways. The truth is I would rather serve myself than honor God.

But it all comes back to this one thing - knowing God. I would only rather serve myself than God because my knowledge of him is weak and I am easily deceived to believe that his grace will cover me as I flounder. It’s not that he does not want to reach out and pick me up, but he can’t because I refuse to turn to him - I strive to drown myself. But, remembering one of the first things I read and wrote on this adventure of knowing God, God’s word is truth. And if I will invest in that truth, I will not be deceived any longer! I will flourish instead of flounder! I will walk in his truth and live according to his ways, inheriting the kingdom of God!

And that is what Paul says at the end of this paragraph - those are the ways we were, but no longer are! We were washed, we were sanctified, and we were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God! That is the victory, evident in our lives - and now we get to walk that truth out, bold and free.

Continuing on...

11. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
1. I'm not much for politico – but I do admire those in leadership, because they do what I never want to have to do: make decisions for others. Often those decision makers become tarred or enshrined because of the decisions they make. But the word of the LORD tells us that it is the LORD himself who ruins plans made by nations designed to prosper them. It is God, the God of all, who destroys a man's reputation. Thinking back to the days when this was written, it probably made a lot more sense in terms of Israel vs. the world – but I'm reminded that even Israel was subject to this God who would share no glory with anyone else.
2. It's not that he is selfish. It's not that he is vain. He's just God. And we are not – not even close. So it comes as no surprise that he makes our purposes inept and unaccomplished. If he did allow for our purposes to be fulfilling, what would be his purpose? And because of his nature, because of his incredible goodness and love, what would happen to that love? We would choose ourselves again and again [I already do], avoiding his love because we believe that we can fulfill ourselves. But he is the great fulfiller – the great Redemptionist. Only he can complete and that is why he ruins our plans and purposes.

Continuing in Psalm 33

9. The LORD spoke and the earth came to be.
1. Again, we have to recognize the power of his words. If he says something it happens. That is the simple truth!
2. The LORD commanded and the earth stood firm.
1. I think it is hard to understand because there is nothing like that in our lives, except God, and we work so hard to make ourselves god-like that we can not comprehend his true power. It's like having a NASCAR racer live next door to you and he drives his NASCAR everyday and you decide that you want to be like him. Fortunately he's a very nice guy and so he gives you his car – but you never can use it the way that he can because you never stop to let him teach you to use to it's fully capabilities. I've seen and watched God work, I've read all about Jesus and what he's done, I've been a part of what the Holy Spirit has done in other peoples lives and my own. I have the fully capabilities that Jesus had, to simply speak and change life...but I don't spend time with him to learn. I don't ask him to teach me often enough.

As I've been engaging these truths about the Lord, I'm discovering why it's important to know about God: knowledge of him is knowledge of myself - and even of others. I think most of my problem in terms of the knowledge of God is that there is a disconnect between knowing and believing - walking it out in my own life. So we continue on...

Continuing in Psalm 33

5. The LORD fills the earth with his unfailing love.
1. This one might seem about out of place with the previous statements, but really, I think it fits well. God is all too aware that we are broken and fallen...he knows the realities of the “already, but not yet”state that we function in. And with that in mind he pours out his love, his abundant love that not only covers, but fills the whole earth! If you think about it, when you are pouring something, if you have to cover something else, it doesn't generally take a whole lot of whatever you're pouring. If you're in the backyard with the hose you can spray the whole yard so it's covered with a wetness with not very much water and in just a little time. But if you want to actually fill the ground that the yard finds life in, it takes much more water and much more time. Which is why we have sprinkler systems. But God, instantaneously, always, consistently fills the earth with his love. Unfailing love – love that never breaks down or goes bad or goes wrong. But love that stays true and right, just as his words are.

6. The starry hosts were made by the LORD's breath.
1. I can see it, a little bit chilly, a little cold and God is breathing into the night and as the mist of his breath comes out and disappears it is replaced by the glorious lights of the night. That simply. Even more simple than speaking. That is the great might of our God. The greatness he is capable of.

7. The LORD brings the oceans into jars.
1.Those must be some awfully big jars. Seriously. And if he's capable of doing that, which he is apparently, he must be pretty seriously awesome in his capabilities. I can hardly carry five gallons of water 50 yards. But somehow I can picture the God of all ushering the waters of the oceans into his jars, containing them as we would contain our salsa, freshly made.

8. The LORD places the deep of the oceans into his storehouses.
1.From what I understand of our world, there are many parts of the deep of the ocean that have never been traveled by man. There are supposedly many ocean creatures that we've never found because they live in those deep places. And yet those places are his storehouses. Those places exist in his barns – he has complete control and ability over them.

Continuing on in Psalm 33...

3. The LORD loves justice and righteousness.
1. And so it continues down this path, making complete sense, all the way. If God speaks true and right things, if he is faithful in all he does, it makes perfect sense that he would love justice and righteousness. Both justice and righteousness are the upholding of things true and right. One [justice] is the act of ensure truth and rightness is upheld in others lives. The other [righteousness] is a reflection of an individual's life or qualities that proves truth and rightness to be evident. As God is just and righteous, so we are to be a reflection of that. Coincidentally [or not] by learning his truths and his rightness, they are imparted into our lives and we learn to uphold justice and live righteously. That is being faithful.

4.The LORD fills the earth with his unfailing love.
1. This one might seem about out of place with the previous statements, but really, I think it fits well. God is all too aware that we are broken and fallen...he knows the realities of the “already, but not yet”state that we function in. And with that in mind he pours out his love, his abundant love that not only covers, but fills the whole earth! If you think about it, when you are pouring something, if you have to cover something else, it doesn't generally take a whole lot of whatever you're pouring. If you're in the backyard with the hose you can spray the whole yard so it's covered with a wetness with not very much water and in just a little time. But if you want to actually fill the ground that the yard finds life in, it takes much more water and much more time. Which is why we have sprinkler systems. But God, instantaneously, always, consistently fills the earth with his love. Unfailing love – love that never breaks down or goes bad or goes wrong. But love that stays true and right, just as his words are.

In pursuing more knowledge of God, I've landed in Psalm 33 - and here are the first two things I've learned:

1. The word of the LORD is right and true.
1. if the word of God is right and true, why don't I turn to it more? Why don't I fill my life with more of his truth and rightness? Because I've believed [past tense] that the things of the world and the enemy are more true – I've allowed the pleasure of the world to dictate to me where I need to go when I'm feeling down and out.
2. The LORD is faithful in all he does.
1. it makes sense then that he is faithful in all he does – if everything he speaks is true and right, how could he not be faithful? Are not only those who lie and deceive unfaithful? And if the LORD is faithful in all he does, if his words are true and right, why not trust him with everything I have? By choosing to walk out the lies in my life, I prove that I don't trust him. But the question becomes: how silly is that?? Even more, how stupid is that? The LORD speaks truth and rightness – he is faithful in all he does. I need to learn to cling more and more to the goodness and purity that he displays in himself as such.

II PETER

1.10-11
Therefore, my brothers and sisters, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
______________________
Peter now refers to the fact that we should desire and long to be confident of what God has called us to – and more, that he has chosen us. This thing of faith is not just something to be in the back of our minds, simmering and waiting, watching and idling. But instead it should be at the forefront, boiling and engaging, participating and constantly on the go. Often times my faith has been stagnant: with out growth. That is why I'm stuck in my knowledge, because I haven't been nurturing my faith, being sure of the things I know to be true. And it appears that if there were any kind of formula to getting our faith right, it's the above of faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love. Peter says if you are active in these, you will never fall. But the best part will be the “rich welcome into the eternal kingdom.” Not just slipping in, or sliding through the door at the last minute – but real, loving, rejoicing welcome by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! As much as that stirs in me I think it's a bit out of my grasp of understanding, again because of my lacking knowledge of my Savior and my King.

I'm going to spend the next few months pursuing this knowledge of God. I want to engage fully in understanding who he is and who I am because of him. No longer to be stuck on the tracks a third of the way there.

:My goal::Our goal:
to not fall, but have a faith that is growing and being pursued.

II PETER

1.5-9
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if any of you do not have them, you are nearsighted and blind, and you have forgotten that you have been cleansed from your past sins.
______________________
Peter's conclusion about the opportunity for us to live according to the divine nature, rather than the sin nature, is that these things should be evident: faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love. It's not just something that happens – he tells us to make every effort. And he talks of them almost as stages of growth. Now, it's dangerous to categorize these as a formula for living, but it is a good thing to recognize them as steps to take for growth.
As I reflect on my own life, I recognize the first three – but I seem to falter in the area of self-control. This is where it becomes evident, for me, that effort is required. But what comes to pass in my mind is this question: is the knowledge that I have adequate for growth in the next step? Apparently not. Lately, I've wanted to find the “next thing” to do – to move away from what I currently do. Often that comes because I'm tired, and generally I'm tired because I've failed at something, usually self-control.
Then Peter uses his conviction push: if you don't have these things evident, “you are nearsighted and blind, and you have forgotten that you have been cleansed from your past sins. I think of my jeans. Sometimes I go for quite sometime in between washings – and during that time I'm not too concerned about how dirty they get or are. If the dog slobbers on me, or prances on my leg and gets mud on it, it's ok – because they're already dirty. But if I've just washed them and they're clean, I do everything to avoid contact with the dog and his dirtiness. It should be the same in my knowledge of my place in Christ. I've been set free – I've been washed clean...but often I think of myself as dirty and ruined, not worthy of the love and grace of our Lord and Savior. And so it comes back to the importance of having knowledge of God. Imagine the victory and the growth that will take place as we continue to add to our faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love!

:My goal::Our goal:
to pursue these things with a passion and a vengeance.

II Peter

1.3, 4
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
______________________
After his powerful opening lines, Peter intricately describes how we can get away from living according to the ruined ways of the world: it's through his amazing promises to us, only because of his own glory and goodness. And because of that he gives us everything we need to live a godly life instead of a worldly life – through the knowledge of him. It is his divine power that accomplishes these things in our lives.
How often do I struggle to live a godly life before the Lord? How often do I wish to walk out my life in the great ways of my Lord, but feel a failure? Too often. I am called, we are called, to live out our faith, reliant on God's promises: those promises are what lead us to divine nature – the very walk the walk that Jesus talked...and walked.
Again, it's about knowing God and knowing the things he has committed to for us. So the question becomes, what are those promises? How can I live according to the divine nature if I have no idea what the promises are that provide the path for that?

:My goal::Our goal:
to know God, and know his promises – living in the divine nature because through them.

II PETER
2 Peter 1.1, 2
Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ,

To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
______________________
Interestingly, as Peter begins this letter, he calls himself Simon Peter, referring to what he was formerly known as, as well as what he has been known as since Jesus “renamed” him. With out really knowing what he's saying by writing his name this way, I might suppose that he's referencing the fact that though he's still who he was, he's not any longer. Paradoxical, I know.
He writes this letter to those who “have received a faith as precious” as his own through the “righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ.” Meaning, quite simply, that it is only because of God's extreme goodness [and goodness here doesn't do him justice] that we can have the faith that saves. God's righteousness is a reflection of his virtuous nature and his beyond reproach ways. Because of him, we have the opportunity to believe.
The next statement he makes is extreme: through knowing God and Jesus, we will have grace and peace overwhelmingly. It's almost as if his recognition of his old man is still apparent at times [Simon], but through increased knowledge of God and Jesus he understands the greatness of the grace of God and the peace that brings to him, bringing him to an understanding of the new man he is [Peter].

Often, when I discover my old man lurking, I go into a dive, all at once retaliating from him and embracing him. It makes for quite the mess. Instead, Peter calls us to embrace God, to cling to Christ, inquiring of his great ways and increasing our knowledge of them and what they bring to the table when our old ways begin to surface. Resting, then, in the grace and peace that comes from knowing God.
So what is it to know God? John told us that it means to love one another, sacrificing our own ways for others'. Spending time with him, engaging in his word and listening for the Spirit to reveal his truth. Give me the patience Lord to focus in on you. Open my heart to your goodness, to your righteousness.

:My goal::Our goal:
to spend time with God, allowing the knowledge of him to permeate my life and my days.

Often I find that my patience with God is short lived. Not the sort of patience like I lose with my daughter or my wife when I erupt because things aren't going my way or they're not getting it. Actually, it's more like losing patience with my father. He, as long as I can remember, though I've heard he wasn't always this way, is very calculated in his approach to what words he uses. I mean extremely calculated. There would be moments when I was in high school and we would have a “discussion” because of something I was doing wrong and he would have had most of the day to think about what he was going to say – and he'd say it right up front in the discussion. Then I would immediately respond passionately. Then we'd sit there. And wait. And he would process and calculate and try to figure out the right words to use to say. And it would drive me nuts! Then I grew up and understood what he was striving for...[cause I turned out just like him!]

In his book describing his experiences with God, Habakkuk is at quite a loss as to why God is allowing the evil ones of the world at that time to rule over the Israelites. He takes several paragraphs to voice his complaints, his questions and concerns - and then he says, "I will stand and wait. I will look to see what response God has to my complaint. Then the Lord prefaces his response with this: “The revelation awaits an appointed time...though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”

Habakkuk doesn't tell us how long he had to wait for the initial response, but I would guess that it might not have been an immediate thing. But it's not that God is calculating his words, trying to figure out the correct response to get his way with us. It's much greater than our ways of manipulation. Instead, we have to realise that God is greater than all time – nothing like our time restrains him. But he does work with in it at moments, as he says to Habakkuk, “The revelation awaits an appointed time.” So as I continue to ask for a drummer, or a way for restoration to take place, I will stand and wait. Though it lingers it will certainly come and not delay. As much of a hypocrisy that seems, how much more is the grace of God, on which I bank my eternity in? There is no greater true thing than our God and his ways.

What are you waiting for? Are you persistent in your requests? And do we really trust that God is the great Provider?

What do you do when two people you know, two people you rely on and two people you care for jump off the wagon? And in the process rip everyone around them apart...

The important thing is restoring wholeness. That is loving people to new life and growing them for new living. Restoration of wholeness.

The scenario changes completely when those two people are your parents. Those who have been through a divorce should agree... I used to be one of those who wasn't one of those. My parents were married for 31 years [this june], that is until my mother called me this morning to inform me of her decision to ask my dad to move out with tears practically slipping through the phone to land on my lap.

Anger didn't leap into my thoughts. Instead she crept in – it was hours before I realised it had arrived. As I heard my mom talk, I understood everything she was saying – I knew where she was coming from, because I had lived 25 years knowing and understanding who my father was and what he had become. She put it perfectly, “I could live with a man who was disobedient to God, as long as he was a nice guy...but I can't live with one who disobeys God and is an ass.” Of course, she wasn't perfect the whole time – but she was nice. She was caring. Most of all she was sacrificial.

And yet there's a deep part of me that hurts – as much as I'm angry with my dad, I hurt for him too. We've always been close: a father and his firstborn son. And it hurts to see him, wallowing for so long, now, it seems, being pushed under to drown. Who is the victim? Both. Both are broken. Both are hurt and both have been wrong. Both qualify for a restoration of wholeness.

I actually began to write this a few months ago as I experienced that breakage on an entirely different relational level, between a close friend and his wife. I stopped after the second paragraph because I felt I had said enough – when two people break a part, the important thing is that restoration. But I didn't know what my role really was in that. Suddenly, the eldest of 3, I have been thrust into a position of leadership that has been vacant in my family for as long as I have known what it means to be alive. And suddenly I remember why I began writing this all of those months ago. I wrote because I was hurt too! Because I felt the pain of separation of two people that I knew and loved but wasn't related to. It seems that the previous pain slowly separated itself with a lack of contact. But now there's no avoiding the wreckage – it exists practically in my own living room. It affects birthday parties for my little girl and holidays that were already a pain in the butt to accommodate everyone's plans. It ruins old memories and out right spits on the beauty I thought existed in my families relationship for some time.

Restoration of wholeness is required to take place in everyone's life involved. But too often [especially in my family] silence fills the void that restoration should and the mantra “Time heals all wounds” gets chanted silently [because we don't want to talk about it at all.

Restoration has been God's goal all along. Paul tells us in his letter to the Ephesians that, “Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order than in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” And honestly if that is the goal of God for us and himself, why wouldn't it be the goal for us and each other? Where is there room for anger and silence and “Time to heal all wounds?” Instead, we reach out with mercy and grace for one another, loving and caring.

And so, this thing of restoration of wholeness is God's work, his initial and continuing plan for each of us, in all situations of brokenness and separation. No matter the pain, no matter the wound, no matter the depravation – we embrace those things and walk forward in them allowing love to heal the wounds, not time.

Last night at church we read the first chapter of Peter and then wrote down some thoughts and shared them. It was a great experience sharing the word of God in a group - very encouraging. I noticed a few things from it and here they are:

I notice a standard of being set forth [catch that - not a standard being set forth, but a standard of being] as a result of God's grace: 1]be holy, 2] self-control, 3] hope in grace, and 4] reverent fear. In fact holiness is a result of the other three, but note that none of those three actually require a physical initiation of activity - a physical response comes from each, but truly, initiation comes from the Spirit of the Lord.

Self-control is an obedience to the Spirit's direction, hope in grace is simply a recognition of God's previous and continuing action. And reverent fear is an acknowledgment that nothing we do or have in this world, except the grace of God, will buy us our eternal existence. None of those things require us to do anything initially! But how often do I make self-control a "Jake" thing. I think to myself, "Oh, I've got to keep my head pure, no bad thoughts - and so I wander around, averting my eyes, not watching TV [which is probably a good thing], and every time boobies pop into my head I tumble down hill. Because, though those things are good and right, where is the Spirit's direction in that? It's usually my direction from my past experience - wholly a physical and emotional experience. Self-control of indulgence in the physical and emotional things of this world will not come from physical and emotional respite. It has to be God's direction for my life...and if I am truly listening to the Lord God above, do you think I will find myself in the midst of nearly as much temptation? Maybe - but the more time I'm with God, the less time I'm with out him. That's a God-made form of self-control!

Hope, like most things, is a funny thing - because even if you feel like you don't have hope, you're actually hoping in something awful. Hope always exists, we just don't allow it to be the good thing that it was created to be. That is why hope in grace should be such a life transforming thing! It is our response to the things God has done - but how easily do I forget the things he's done because I've pulled off on the side of the road and took a "breather?" In turn I also place my hope then in something much more foolish, life with out God - aka hope in God's awful judgment. That's a shot to the stomach...

This thing of reverent fear has intrigued me this last year - the understanding that, yes, God is loving and caring and has my best interest at heart, but that he is also the most ferocious, intense and terrifying thing to ever be in existence! And specifically in the terms that Peter is talking - I have a tendency to believe that things will be alright at the end of the month because I've got enough money to pay for my mortgage and my the rest of my bills. But at the end of all days, I'm never going to have enough wealth to purchase the mortgage on my home in heaven. I sleep easy at night because I don't have financial worry - but that's not going to be my savior. Jesus Christ will be my Savior and I have to live that out with trembling because it's not my abilities that made me lovable - it's just that he loves me! Unfortunately I've never known a love like that outside of God, and that's partially why it's a scary proposition, because innately we're used to people jerking their love out from under our feet. But not God. And yet, there has to be this understanding of the ferocity of God and that he is not a timid, tender lover who is tamed by our love. He is intensely jealous and ... I honestly don't have words for it, because I honestly don't understand it fully. All I know is that the Aslan I envisioned will never be portrayed rightly in a movie...

At the end of the day, though, I can't be holy - we can't, with out the SPirit of the Living God continually at work within us. Shortly after he talks of these things in chapter one, Peter says, "Now that you have purified yourself by obeying the truth..." Obeying truth is to believe in Christ as Messiah and that is being holy - or rather being MADE holy. It's never anything we initially do - God initiates, we respond.

This morning, I woke later than I usually do because I'm tired of getting up early and being faithful to read my bible and spend time with God. I'm tired of a lot of things right now. But there's still work to be done, so I press on, sacrificing the things that I probably should spend more time doing than not doing. I arrived at the church with enough time to physically get ready for worship practice. I'm quite tired of doing church, so I wasn't looking forward toward doing it this morning and as nine o'clock approached I was less and less enthused. I half-heartedly prayed, asking God to change my heart and give me strength. We opened service with a song and then Pastor T came up to do her thing and so I bailed off the stage because I had to get ready for a worship team bbq later this afternoon. I slipped over to the new "worship" building and was hurriedly loading plastic chairs and tables into my Pathfinder when I noticed a scripture written on the wall. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Gal. 6:9" I stopped dead in my tracks; it was as if the words of God that I had been avoiding leapt off the wall to engage my eyes and draw me in. At first I read, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest we won't get," because of the cursiveness to the writing, and I thought, "Boy, that's truth." But as I stopped and reread, and even as I sit here now and type, "at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up," it stirs me.

I've honestly been ready to quit over the last few weeks - have been pretending to pray to God, asking him to allow it. And even though I've been avoiding him and pretending he's not there, he reaches out and catches me. He reaches out and grabs hold of me, pulling me in with the live bait of his word. That is my God. That is our God.

So I had to investigate a little bit - this verse comes at the end of Paul's letter to the church in Galatia. This is what he says, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. People reap what they sow. Those who sow to please their sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; those who sow to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." And suddenly as I continue to process, I realise what my problem is: I'm sowing, not purposefully, to please my sinful nature. More than that, and probably better put: I'm not sowing to please the Spirit. In other words, I've put the Spirit of God behind me, away from me.

It is so subtle, the change from Spirit-living to me-living. But the more upsetting thing is that my switch is a total disregard for God. I could play it off as just life [which it is] and I could hop back on and not make a big deal about it [which I will and I won't] but here I'm quite fully living for myself simply because I'm not living by the Spirit. And then the truth of why people, of why I am weary of doing good is because I'm trying to good out of my bad self. It can't be accomplished - no one is good, not one! So my feeble attempts out of my own strength and effort might not show through truthfully, but they sure don't encourage and fill me like the Spirit of the Living God does.

And so, the only thing to do is to get back on. To saddle up and ride off, as if I never got bucked off - not because I want to pretend that it never happened [though I do] but instead to let the grace of God do what it does best: wash it away.

Habakkuk 1:12-2:1
LORD, are you not from everlasting?
My God, my Holy One, you will never die.
You, LORD, have appointed them to execute judgment;
you, my Rock, have ordained them to punish.
Your eyes are too pure to look on evil;
you cannot tolerate wrongdoing.
Why then do you tolerate the treacherous?
Why are you silent while the wicked
swallow up those more righteous than themselves?
You have made people like the fish in the sea,
like the sea creatures that have no ruler.
The wicked foe pulls all of them up with hooks,
he catches them in his net,
he gathers them up in his dragnet;
and so he rejoices and is glad.
Therefore he sacrifices to his net
and burns incense to his dragnet,
for by his net he lives in luxury
and enjoys the choicest food.
Is he to keep on emptying his net,
destroying nations with out mercy?
I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts;
I will look to see what he will say to me,
and what answer I am to give to this complaint.
______________________
Habakkuk knows the things of God – he knows that he stands for purity and righteousness, that he is so holy he cannot stand impurity and wickedness – and so it makes sense to him that God would punish his people because of their calamity. But what is frustrating, and I think this gets to us all, is why he allows those who are living even further from his truth, to be the ones to walk out his decisive action against his people.
We don't talk a lot about God's wrath on us now – because of his mercy and grace through Jesus Christ...but I believe that some of what we experience is his allowance of this world's destruction in our lives because he wants us to prove our faith, to walk out our beliefs. After all, what is belief if not backed up by action?
Finally Habakkuk determines to wait in persistence for God's answer. Often I ask God something and then nearly forget I've asked because I wander on with my life. But Habakkuk shows an attentiveness to God that I don't quickly show – he will wait on the Lord...and we'll see tomorrow that God responds.

:My goal::Our goal:
to participate in God's plan, no matter what it looks like.

Teach me Lord, to be attentive to you, to your word and truth. Teach me to continue to live by your great Spirit and by your wisdom. I want to adapt to your ways, I want to live by your guidance alone. Be my rock and my strength!

HABAKKUK

Habakkuk 1:1-11
The prophecy that Habakkuk the prophet received.


How long, LORD, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.
Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted.


“Look at the nations and watch -
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told.
I am raising up the Babylonians,
that ruthless and impetuous people,
who sweep across the whole earth
to seize dwellings not their own.
They are a feared and dreaded people;
they are a law to themselves
and promote their own honor.
Their horses are swifter than leopards,
fiercer than wolves at dusk.
Their cavalry gallops headlong;
their horsemen come from afar.
They fly like a vulture swooping to devour;
they all come bent on violence.
Their hordes advance like a desert wind
and gather prisoners like sand.
They mock kings
and scoff at rulers.
They laugh at all fortified cities;
by building earthen ramps they capture them.
Then they sweep past like the wind and go on -
guilty people, whose own strength is their god.”
______________________
Here Habakkuk approaches God with a question: [really four questions, but summed up in this one] why? He's seen and experienced destruction and pain, violence and sorrow – and it's all come from the hands of evil people, the Assyrians. These wicked people are so full of calamity that the righteous have no room to breathe and true justice has become inadequate to fight them.
And then comes a verse that I've heard often, “Look, watch and be utterly amazed, for I will do things that you would never have guessed.” Each time I've heard it, it has seemed to be in correlation to God doing some great thing for his people. And while, in this instance in Habakkuk's time, he is – it is taking the form of something so terrifying to the people of God that they probably questioned God's faithfulness even more.
God's plan was to replace the wrath of the Assyrians with the wrath of the Babylonians – a people who weren't fully in power yet, but were more destructive and violent than the Assyrians. And so it makes me wonder...I know and believe that God is full of mercy and grace – but where is the wrath of God today? Is he just simmering at the moment, waiting for the end of all days to unleash it on the people who didn't attempt to live for him? Do we regularly experience the effects of living in a fallen world or do we experience the wrath of God? And lastly, as I look around me at other nations, as I watch and see and become amazed by what is happening – what kind of awe will that be? A joyous awe filled with thankfulness that God is working on my [our] behalf? Or will it be terror, filled with desperation, seeking out God's mercy because he's seemingly tearing me [us] apart by a nation so unholy we can't imagine it to be true?
I guess what I know and see in this chapter is that God is not above any means necessary to draw his people to a right heart before him. Unfortunately I feel that right now his people are not at a right heart before him, at least in the church in America. We're caught up with the show, enticed by the performance of pride and desperately seeking the fame this world has to offer...or at least too fearful of the world to do it the way it should be done.

:My goal::Our goal:
to walk out my faith patiently, believing and trusting no matter what I see in front of me that God is in control.

God be the great Revealer! Show me what it is you are doing and what I need to speak and do myself. Show me what it means to be obedient to your word and your will in my life. Show me. Show me. Show me. Open my eyes to see. Open my ears to hear. Open my mind to understand and know your will. Open my heart, soften my heart to be willing to do anything and everything you're calling me to. Show me who you are. Show me your ways. Show me your life.

PSALMS

Psalm 71:1-8
In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.

For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD,
my confidence since my youth.
From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.
I have become like a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.
______________________
It sounds as if David is trying to convince himself more than God that he is safe in his arms – that he will be protected. I think that David knows it, but at times it's hard to recall that God is the center of everything and that he is and will be the great Protector.
David reminds himself of that fact that for all of his life he has relied on God, for all of his life his confidence has been in God to do a great work in his life! He doesn't want to ever stray from that – he wants to remain faithful.
He also talks of being a portent – a sign, or a bad omen of things to come. He must have felt like there were people who looked at him and only saw destruction – that nothing good would come from him, from being around him, because of the things that had happened around him. And yet, David continually praises his King, declaring his splendor all day!

:My goal::Our goal:
to be willing to remind myself of my faith and to reach out to God every moment.

PSALMS

Psalm 70
Hasten, O God, to save me;
come quickly, LORD, to help me.

May those who seek my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
turn back because of their shame.
But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
“The LORD is great!”

But as for me, I am poor and needy;
come quickly to me, O God.
You are my help and my deliverer;
LORD, do not delay.
______________________
I find more and more as I read David's writing that I am so self-satisfied and that I rarely rely on the King of kings to provide for me. And for a while now I've believed that was because I lived in America and that if I ever left it would be easier to love God, to need him. But as I read this I realised something about David: he was the greatest king in all the earth at his time! There was nothing he didn't have! He had everything he could have ever wanted and still we find him crying out to the Lord for satisfaction, for comfort, for shelter. And here I am, with much less than him, but much more distant from God. “I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; LORD, do not delay.” Instead my prayers usually sound like, “God, you are great and I want you.”
Show me Lord, remind me, of my need of you – how lost I am with out you and how empty life is with out you. Break me and make me into what it is you're calling me to. Teach me to recognize and claim my poor and needy state, that I would call out to for your saving grace!

:My goal::Our goal:
to need God. not to rely on myself.